Chaotic Cuddles

This is me and my 5yo.

I’m one of those people who set my alarm about 40 minutes before I’m supposed to get up. I sleep very deeply and it takes a really long time to wake up, something which I enjoy. I don’t love jumping out of bed as soon as consciousness invades my dreams.

The problem is, both my 5yo and my 7yo daughters passionate cuddlers. They are not gentle about it.

So this morning, at 7am, my alarm softly started to play and I semi-consciously tapped the snooze button and rolled over to a more comfortable position. Right at that moment, both of my little girls burst into the bedroom and came to jump on the bed. I immediately put my hand up and said, “NO! Mommy is still sleeping.”

It probably sounded more like, “mmmfh. mmmff fff ppphng.”

My 5yo stomped her little foot and said, “Fine! I won’t cuddle with you!” I didn’t respond because I was already sinking back into somnolent bliss… but she stood there in silence for a moment before repeating herself more adamantly. When I didn’t respond for the second time, she immediately started fake-bawling and ran out of the room.

My 7yo was not deterred. She climbed up on the bed and wrapped her little arms around me, pulling my hair, sinking her elbow into my soft bits, and kicking me with freezing cold toes. I tried to reach to my husband, who was awake and reading the news, but to no avail.

My 5yo came back in the room at this point. When she saw her older sister draped half on top of me, she wailed louder than before. I finally had the wherewithal to feel bad for her, and I called her up onto the bed. She happily clambered up and plonked herself down between my husband and me, cracking our heads together, slapping me in the face with the tassels of her favorite blanket, and then coughing on me.

This is how it is any time my little girls want to cuddle. Their enthusiastic energy somehow transforms into me getting injured. They jump on me, elbow me, bonk our heads, pull my hair, smash my bladder, etc, etc.

She loves taking selfies together! It usually happens at her instigation.

In fact, my 7yo (who I don’t have a cuddly picture with, to my surprise and regret) is such a cuddler, that she will literally drape herself across any part of my body. Even my head. And somehow, whenever she does this (she’s a skinny little thing), she weighs about 5,000 tons. She gets so supple and heavy, its like someone has laid a dead Siberian tiger across your lap. She probably generates the same amount of heat, too, now I think about it.

I also have fibromyalgia, so getting bonked, hit, or whacked causes twice as much pain as it would in a normal, healthy human being. So basically, I’m a wimp, I guess. Shrug

Despite all of this, I still love my cuddle time, even when my chest gets elbowed. I love it any time one of my kids approaches me with touch-love. It’s sweet and loving, and I can’t help but shower their foreheads with kisses whenever we snuggle together.

I mean, only if they’re holding still, or I’m liable to get a fat lip.

1 Comment

  1. Sue March 1, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    Love it! (remind me to look for signs of this abuse in the future!) Enjoy it while you can-I know Emmett was a cuddle-er and soon they just get too big or too cool. Maybe you should bring a net and cocoon them for your own safety while you cuddle? 🙂 <3

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